what I’d tell my younger self

There were a few things that came up today in my bereavement writing group, as they often do, mostly around wisdom which funnily enough I have something about that written on my whatsapp profile – ‘Self reflection is the first condition of wisdom’ (attributed to Plato, possible ripped off from Aristotle?). There’s often various intertwining prompts that we can springboard from and today I thought I’d go with the ‘What I’d tell my younger self’ Obviously we’re talking about grief and loss here. So here it is, written off the cuff in twenty minutes, the length of time we have.

What could I tell my younger self about grief? That with my whole life before me, a time of eternal blue skies and joy, playing, making, creating, observing and being ever so present, that that person there, your grandad, who’d you go and visit at around 6 years old and who’d give you packets of Extra Strong Mints, that you loved so much, the last visit two packets, would be gone, never to be seen again. 

What would I tell my younger self who at around eight, nine years old would experience the sudden death of a family friend who you loved so much to go visit, what would I tell you, when one after the other; you grandma, your brother, your friend, your primary school teacher, your other friend, oh, and another, your friend’s six year old son, your dad and so many others, from so young to so old would also die throughout your life.

What would I tell my younger self who had no idea her journey in life would have so much loss in it.

That perhaps this was her gift, an awareness into a different realm, a stronger connection with life itself. 

I would tell my younger self that it wouldn’t be easy, but somewhere in that murky shroud fogging the way there would be a deeper learning and a clarity, a greater understanding  and growth, a connectedness with root source.  And that however alone she’d feel at times, or brushing it all to one side, neat and tidy out of the way, she’d be alright, better than alright in fact because she’d make more deeper and profound connections in life, with others and with herself, enriching and being enriched.

time up