I do have dreams!

I dream of meeting my half sister. Isn’t that mad! I have a half sister! She’s my sibling, I’m not an only child, as I always kinda thought I was, must be, after Mark died. But no, I have a half sister.

I’ve known about her all my life, met her even when we were little back in the 1970s. I stayed round at my dad’s when he was married to her mum, but then, just like my mum before her, she left him and off they flew. And I never saw them again.

Sometimes, during the course of my life, she would pop into my mind, sometimes I would mention her to a friend, almost like in passing but as the years rolled on by she started to feel like a fragment of my imagination, like was she really real? Did she really exist? My memories of her had become so ephemeral.

But the other morning as I was doing my breathing her name came to me as clear as day. Oh my days, yes, my half sister. I have a half sister, a sibling, I am not an only child. I want to find her, I want to meet her, I want to get on with her, laugh with her, feel like family with her.

And so I started looking online and to my surprise there’s a woman who keeps popping up that could so well be her, but there aren’t any photos and most of the information stops around 2018. But then I find something on insta on someone else’s account, just from last year, can you believe it? I hesitate for a hairbreadth of a second then send a message . . . ‘I’m looking for my half sister . . . ‘
I get excited, I check my phone 2 minutes later, has she replied? No. There is a picture, well a short video actually. Could it be her? There is such a strong possibility. I keep looking at her face and compare it to the last known image I have of her in my mind, a photo from the mid 80s when my mum met her. It could so be her. I riffle through my photos , do I have that one here? No, damn, but oh my days look what I do have . . . almost two identical photos, each of us with our same dad, being held in his same arms on a day out somewhere. It’s blowing my mind, these two half-sisters, side by side, the pair of us, real, it’s really real. I have a half-sister and I want to meet her. Could that little girl be the same one in the video, could it?

I start getting carried away, really excited, I can feel my energy getting hyped up, keep it in check Lara, you don’t want to crash after. Nevertheless I start wondering what I’d wear. My wardrobe really is limited and a bit tired. I’d have to go out shopping with my mate Sandra who is all things sequin, to some first-hand shops which I rarely go to. I can feel myself getting carried away, like I’ve found her already and I’ll be going out to meet her before you know it. 

I’m dreaming. 

And I’m enjoying it.