everywhere I have ever lived 

literally makes me feel dizzy and light headed

I just needed to jig it about a bit, make some space on the corkboard for the beginnings of my shop; samples, ideas

from a huge looping spiral to shimmering lines it reminds me of bubbles in a glass of sparkling water with ice and a slice on a hot summer’s day, or those long electronic LED strips with constantly moving messages created by Jenny Holtzer that I saw in the Guggenheim Bilbao a while back

I can hardly look at them, I want them to stop

stop

just slow down, let me take you in, slowly, digest you

overwhelm, with her work and with mine

I bumped into an old school friend recently, literally hadn’t seen her for decades. we got into a really good chat. all of the steadiness, the constant, the same, the dependable (?) in her life had come to an end; her marriage, her job, her identity as she knew it. she told me how she’d been to some kind of motivational talk (or something like that, I don’t remember too well exactly what it was) and how the speaker spoke of two types of people; those who keep their lives the same for decades (same job, same house, same partner etc) and those who don’t, those like me who just keep switching it up, making changes, throwing themselves into the unknown, sitting with insecurity, take risks, feel exhausted, don’t know where the fuck anything is, leave friends behind, but love the excitement, the newness, the adventure of it all, and somewhere, thrive off the tension between the two

I’m still trying to figure out what my ‘Everywhere I Have Ever Lived’ story is all about; nature, nurture, life’s purpose, soul path . . . and I know I’ll move again

it’s a constant unpicking

what do you think?

what’s your experience?